2010 Gabe flowers
5 red roses for Keith, Jennifer, David, Tommy & Nathan and 1 white rose for Gabe
Gabe's hand/foot prints
Four years!! I can not believe it has been four years since we lost baby Gabe. There are some days it seems like just yesterday and other days that it seems like forever ago. Every year this day is hard and emotional time for me. I still have times that I break down and allow myself to feel the emotions from the experience. But, I think that is good. It helps me. Sitting here today, I am emotional, as I look at pictures, watch ultrasound dvds, listen to Gabe's song, and touch his blanket and I am ok with that. He was and always will be my baby.
What a life changing experience for our family though! Feelings of loss, sorrow, concern and yes, gratitude fill our hearts this year. It has taken me a while to understand and truly be greatful for my experience with Gabe. How greatful I am that we had family that was able to help and be with us, both taking care of David and staying with me at the hospital while Keith was running back and forth. Greatful for the strength and comfort of the Spirit through prayer and priesthood blessings. Greatful for parents and church leaders who came to be with us and knew just what to say and what we needed. Greatful for my doctor who validated my concerns that weekend and knew just who and what I needed and came and spent the night in the ER with us, and the perinatologist that he called in that came into the ER in the middle of the night in her evening gown.
Thankful that Spring Valley didn't have what they needed to put me into labor and I had to go to Southern Hills the next day where it was more quiet and peaceful and I wouldn't have to be surrounded by so many mothers and newborn babies.Thankful for my mom who encouraged me to hold Gabe, knowing how hard it would be for me to do but knowing that if I didn't I would regret it. Thankful for my visiting teacher who had a very similar situation and knew what I needed.
. I am grateful that we were able to have Gabe and for all of the lessons that his birth and death taught us.
Gabe's hands
4 comments:
I remember telling you that there would be no end to the lessons Gabe would teach us, and that has proven to be true. As time goes by it seems we become more and more aware of them. I know you have used those lessons several times to reach out and bless the lives of others who have since gone through a similar experience, and what a blessing those lessons have been in all our lives! Don't ever think you can't remember and feel emotional on this day, you are his mother for eternity!
I second that Cathy! Jenn, when I saw your kind response to the Facebook friend who was going through a similar experience in her family, it made me cry to see your gentle compassion and concern. I know you have blessed the lives of others through this hardest of journeys. I love you and I am proud of you, and someday we will all get to hold him.
I saw this post a few days ago but didn't have time to read it. I'm glad I came back to it though! What a strong person you are and I'm glad for the advise you've given me to help with my friend who is going through a similar situation. Thanks for posting this! :)
I feel so sad to know that you have had such great loss. You are so inspiring to me. Lots of love.
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