Saturday, September 17, 2011

five

I started crying as I sat down and turned on the computer today. It has been that kind of week, very emotional. I can't help but think what if things didn't happen the way they did, what if things were different.  I know that losing Gabe is the way it is supposed to be, I know that. I know that he has much more important work to do in heaven and is needed more there than he was here on earth. I can't help to think what if though. 
It is really hard to believe that it has been five years though! I have learned so much since then, this experience has changed my life and how I look at life.  Looking back I still feel so much gratitude, for my doctor, family, friends, and ward members that helped and carried me and my family when we needed it the most.  I am still grateful for the opportunity that I had to be able to go through this loss, to feel the love from our father in heaven throughout everything.  


A friend recently shared this song with me, it fits so well with my experiences with Gabe. 



this song has always been my Gabe song



I've decided to start a new tradition this year, I am going to go to the temple every year on the 17th (or the first closest day if the temples closed), to just be able to sit in the celestial room and think about and reflect on these life changing experiences that I have had. 

3 comments:

Ed and Cathy Torrance said...

I remember telling you 5 years ago that little Gabe was going to teach us great things, and I am so proud of you and all you have learned from him. What a wonderful tradition being in the temple on Sept. 17 will be, and I am so honored to be able to be there with you tonight. That special place holds a very dear place in my heart regarding Gabe too. (Is that this year's flowers?)

weavers said...

I'm so sorry that we can't be there tonight with you. That is a Fabulous idea tough! I love the flowers too, what a beautiful symbol.

mckeehan said...

Sorry I was not there, Jenn. I did not reliaze this was the day. I love the angel song, and I am amazed at the growth in your little family through this devastating event. The Lord truly has worked a miracle in healing your family. I am so proud of you.