2 years ago

It is hard to believe that two years ago we lost Gabe. There are some days it seems like just yesterday and other days that it seems like forever ago. I still have times that I break down and allow myself to feel the emotions from the experience. But, I think that is good. It helps me. Sitting here today, I am a little emotional, and am ok with that. Today I am thankful for the experience we had. I am thankful that I had a super doctor that validated my concerns that weekend, that knew what I needed and came to the hospital emergency room at midnight to be with me. Thankful that he knew the perinatologist that I needed and that she to came to the emergency room that night. Thankful that Spring Valley didn't have what they needed to put me into labor and I had to go to Southern Hills the next day where it was more quiet and peaceful and I wouldn't have to be surrounded by so many mothers and newborn babies. Thankful for my mom who encouraged me to hold Gabe, knowing how hard it would be for me to do but knowing that if I didn't I would regret it. Thankful for my visiting teacher who had a very similar situation and knew what I needed. Thankful for the closeness that it brought to mine and Keith's relationship. It was so cute. The other night I was laying in bed listening through the baby monitor to David and Tommy talking. David was telling Tommy to be quiet so he could hear his movie. Tommy kept burbling and laughing. David said to Tommy, "you have to listen to me cause I am your big brother and I get to boss you around. Did you know that you have two big brothers, but I am the only one that you have to listen to cause your other big brother is Gabe and he doesn't live with us. He lives in Heaven with Heavenly Father. But when you die you will have to listen to him cause then he'll be your big brother too." It was very cute, very simple. I am grateful that we were able to have Gabe and for all of the lessons that his birth and death taught us. Grateful.